these feelings are so…opposite. i like him but i don’t want to be with him. i miss him but i don’t mind being away from him. i don’t understand myself. and when I’m with him its amazing. he makes me feel amazing. or its just fine, nothing incredible just normal. i really don’t understand.
what i understand even less are the looks he sometimes gives me. and the way he talks to me or stays with me. and then when wer apart its as if i don’t exist. i never hear from him.
nothing will happen i know. but sometimes (like i always do) i imagine him calling my name, walking up to me, putting his hands on my waist and lightly kissing me. then pulling away to look into my eyes with that look that makes me melt.
crazy, right? yh it is. crazy to think that way about someone and then push them to the back of your mind. crazy to be excited and nervous to see them and then not talk to them, waste the opportunity (even if its not really an opportunity).
ok ill stop now…just wanted to vent a little. spending some time with someone after not seeing them for months can bring back lots of things…